INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO SPOOF
by UpcomingScreenPlayWriter
Summary: James Lipton interviews Keanau Reeves and he proves just how much of a dumbass he is.


INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO  
  
"Tonight Mr. Keanau Reeves."  
  
FADE IN:  
  
Mr. Lipton is seen at his normal chair warming up the audience and getting them ready for his guest. The ever dull, the ever boring, the ever "say is that dude high, or something" Keanau Reeves.  
  
Mr. Lipton: Ladies and gentleman I give to you tonight a man who demonstrates that even lackluster movies such as "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" or "Babes in Toyland" can be the most well-directed, well-conceived classic movies of our generation. I give to you tonight for your viewing pleasure a man who has the wit and charm of a chameleon changing color on a wall, or paint drying. I give you a man above any actor of our time. I give you Mr. Keanau Reeves!  
  
(Keanau comes out from backstage and greets the audience and sits down and begins talking to James about his career.)  
  
James: Now, before we start I'd just like to say I think you are a brilliant actor. Above all actors such as Steve McQueen, Rex Harrison, Cary Grant, John Wayne, or even the delightful Jim Varney of "Ernest P. World" fame I think you are hands-down the greatest actor alive. I also think Drew Barrymore is the most cutest thing alive and if I wasn't married I'd probably do her butt right now, but...uh...um...I think you and her share a familiar spotlight you are both talented and true.  
  
Keanau: Well, yeah we're like "whoa" and you make us "whoa" and you are totally "whoa" and I took a "whoa" before I came in here and oh yes... "I know kung- fu."  
  
James: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Where do you come up with your brilliant jokes?  
  
(Keanau points to his nose.)  
  
Keanau:  
It comes from my head man.  
  
James: And I'm sure the acting bug burrowed into there, laid a thousand eggs, and they bit you so hard that you fleshed out this wonderful persona and character.  
  
Keanau: Um...I guess...(Laughs) I don't know...I can't really follow you. What's pers- pers-pers-sauna mean? I mean I've been in a sauna, but I didn't know it was also called a person too! That's totally boss!  
  
James: Spoken like a true village idiot. So, tell us what was it like to play off of "Biker Boyz" star Laurence Fishburne and the delicious, delectable "RED PLANET" star Carrie Ann-Moss?  
  
Keanau: Well, they were like...good? And they taught me a lot of things like...Don't stick pens too far up my nose, that poop should be used to make clay figures out of, that even stupid brain dead surfer sounding guys can go onto have great acting careers too. Such as Sean Penn or Robert Downey Jr.  
  
James: Yes, but you do know Robert Downey Jr. is in jail for drug assumption...AGAIN!  
  
Keanau: He is! Sweet! You should like call him and tell him to bring me over a stash!  
  
James: Uh...ok...moving on. You've been described as being a "sexual animal" during your sex scenes. Where does that mojo, that spunk come from?  
  
Keanau:  
From my dick?  
  
James: Ah, I see so you basically just use more of your dick than your brain.  
  
Keanau: Yeah, he's my special buddy. Whenever I am in a jam I just turned to him. Either that or my non-mentally retarded friends.  
  
James: Well, we have to run to commercial, but I just want to ask you one more question. Why did you turn down "SPEED 2?" It would've been a phenomenal movie!  
  
Keanau: It just didn't seem too what's that word when you like something, but it starts with an "a?" Assholepting? Is that it? I don't know...I just thought the deal didn't seem to promising and Jason Patrick got it and made it his own and the movie proved successful right?  
  
James: Actually, it was a flop it appeared on one the "World's Greatest Duds For Movies" lists and "WORST. SEQUELS. EVER!" by "THE SIMPSONS" famed Comic Book Guy.  
  
Keanau: Well, that's what you get when you hire yourself as your own agent. Say do you got any glue-sticks, or markers. I feel like sniffing something.  
  
James: They're in the left hand drawer of my desk.  
  
Keanau:  
WHOA! YOU'RE BOSS! 


End file.
